10 ways to fail a Computer Practical Exam

Yes, if you are one of those who never had CP(computer practicals) in their 12th but had to study it in college, and if for some reason you plan to fail, this is the right place for you.

The following is a list of things you can do to ensure that you fail in your lab exam:

1.)Don't study a word of Computer during the whole semester. Note that failure to follow this step might land you a decent grade, which is what we precisely don't want. So highlight this point.

2.) During the whole semester, make sure that you don't do a bit of programming yourself. Alternatives include copying all programmes into the system from a pen drive, copying from your neighbour, and renaming work done previously by other students. Resist the urge to do the programming yourself, the consequences may be severe.

3)Don't buy any book which has anything even remotely to do with computer science. Buy some packets of Hide&Seek biscuits instead, they're totally worth the money, not the book.

4)Miss as many classes of Computers as possible. As a word of caution for Manipal students, make sure that you don't fall below 75% attendance or you'll be murdered by the very people that gave birth to you.

5)Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers. ~Charles W. Eliot

Make sure you have your favourite novels available to you during the classes that you have to attend compulsorily, and sit on the last bench to make sure you're not caught and thrown out of the class.

The next points focus on things to do once you enter an exam hall.

6)When you reach the class, act as if you have never seen a computer, and ask the weirdest questions possible. like - what should i press to switch it on? or ooooh!!! green light!!!

7) As soon as the invigilator gives you the question paper, eat it. Highly effective.

8) Throw the extra sheet on the invigilator's back, and when he looks back, point towards the person next to you. How will this fail you? Well, i'm not asking you to do it once, at least 8 times, for the formula to succeed.

9)Write the story of Mimoh Chakravarthy's movie 'Jimmy' on the answer sheet.

10)When all else fails, stand up on the chair, and scream 'Oh captain, my captain'-Dead Poet Society Style.

Well so there you go.

I can confirm the potency of these methods. Why?

Well yours truly speaks only of things he has experience of.( at least some of the 10)